Here it goes: 2014.

I could sit here and drum up a cliché to sum up my 2013. But I won't.

Mostly because I actually can't. This past year has been a whirlwind of emotions that I can't quite explain. I endured a lot of growth, but while I grew in several aspects of my life, I also took a few steps back in others.

Life is all about balance (as a Libra, I'm a firm believer in it). And for as long as I live, I will try my hardest to achieve a happy balance. I'm a realist - I know it's impossible to be perfect, even if I may act like it's my ultimate goal.

I still have a lot to learn about myself and the world. And I'm blessed to have reached this point of my life. 2014 will begin a brand new chapter of my life. I'm going to graduate college and (with any hope) find a job. I am forced to grow up and I'm absolutely terrified. I tell people I am itching to leave school, but to be honest I actually don't want to leave. At least not yet. I finally found a comfort in college and now I am forced to leave in a couple of months.

Anyways. As much as I am scared for the future, I'm excited to turn the page from 2013. It wasn't a horrible year, but I am ready to better myself and to change all the things about me that I didn't like from this passing year.

Ultimately, I want to right my wrongs. I know that this time of the year generally calls for "letting go" and "putting things in the past," but sometimes doing those things feels like I'm going to have unfinished business. For proper closure, I know that I have to make amends and learn from them. I've learned that I am not close to being at peace with myself and I need to think critically about the person I want to be.

But that being said, I also need to be more open and to say "yes" more often. I get caught up in my own naiveté way too often, and I need to take a few more risks with no worry of rejection. I do myself a great disservice by treating myself as if I'm still 15. I'm going to make mistakes and I'm going to be shut down (a lot of both happened in 2013 anyways), and that is perfectly okay. I'm still standing now, surely that counts for something?

Words are strong - and they are arguably the strongest weapons I can ever wield. But the thing is, I don't have to use them as weapons. I can use them for guidance, for love, for peace. I have a tendency to be harsh, and thinking before speaking is so vital in being a mature adult. A few seconds between my thoughts wouldn't hurt, and may even help with managing my inner peace. I want to be a kinder person. I want to be someone who is more compassionate and giving. I want to leave a positive impact, not a mean-spirited one. I am fortunate to have opportunities which allow me to curate positivity, and I cannot waste them.

I hope that with the new year I can find clarity within myself and hopefully extend that clarity to the world around me.